[ martin isn't sure what he wants to say, or how to say it, but he can feel his face heating up fast and he doesn't quite know what to do about it. his fingers flex on the book and he bites down a smile, because god if he doesn't care so much about this stupid man- ]
It's - alright. Honestly, I'm not just saying that. We all know that you're- that you're prickly. But you've always had our best interests at heart. From the beginning. I know that. I-- we know that, I promise.
[His throat works for a moment and he sighs, and leans back.]
See that?- If I really did? I would do more about Elias. I would have ...somehow done more about this whole situation we're in. What happened with Daisy and Basira would never have happened and Tim...
[Damn it.]
But thank you all the same.
[All he can offer is a very tired smile.]
...I used to date Georgie. The...
[He studies Martin and looks profoundly ashamed.] she used to tell me that I was very good at making other people do my emotional work for me and I ...hate that.
This kind of thing isn't easy for you. It's not, which is, um, obvious - no offense. But you're trying. You're making an effort. The - whole situation, too--
[ martin trails off, chewing over his next words. ]
You've never stopped trying there, either. It doesn't mean nothing. I promise it doesn't.
[ the shame catches him off guard, as does the admission of dating georgie. casual, martin. c a s u a l. ]
[He blinks owlishly.] No, no no. She's passed. We weren't close in life? But she was...she did her best-
[pause.] Or Georgie and I?
[He hisses for a moment.] We're...we talk but I made a pretty big mistake and she and I parted on ...not good terms. We grew into very different people.
But we still talk, and I duck by to use her wifi because for some reason wifi in my flats is always terrible.
Your grandmother passed just a little while before you got here, right? I - uh, I think I remember hearing talk about that.
[ martin, who has been at the institute for ages, who has seen so many folks come and go. he rubs at his eye, not wanting to admit out loud just how tired he is. he's unwilling to give up this moment of actual conversation with jon. ]
But I'm sorry to hear about that. You and Georgie, I mean. It's good to have friends.
[ yeah - he's suddenly very glad he decided to bring jon a late dinner. ]
It's actually quite nice, hearing it from you. But I think you've already covered the 'gesture of friendliness.' [ he holds up the book, as if to indicate. ]
Anyone who hasn't read a good book deserves to. I mean you don't seem to have one on your mind, so I'm happy to help. Expect a second gesture of genuine friendship - totally out of nowhere.
[You're so kind to me and I want to measure up, seems fucking trite]
You'll be least expecting it and suddenly I'll swoop in and probably make a mess of the whole affair but it will be made out of friendship and kindness.
Fair warning it may be more books. Or...well what else do you like?
[ it's embarrassing how awkward this makes him feel, because he doesn't want to feel awkward. the truth of the matter just happens to be that martin blackwood is excellent at friendliness, but tends to be complete rubbish when it comes to actual friendship. ]
Books are fine. Honest. It just - means a lot, to know someone is thinking about me.
[ that jon is thinking about him. he feels his ears go red again, and hastily adds: ]
I have seen the movie. Is it going to spoil the book for me? [ jurassic park, that is. ]
Yeah? I, uh- I used to watch a lot of Star Trek. [ that's about as much as he can relate, but he's giving a self-effacing little grin as he admits even that much. ] What made you change?
[The truth hits him like a punch to the stomach and he sighs.] I've always loved a good story and the horror ones...lately especially...have much more of a draw than ...anything else I previously read.
In fact- [he laughs a little nervosly] I make it a point to go shopping because I try not to read or get drawn to any horror books. It's...
[Like armor. Paper and binding armor against his god. But the urge to not spoil this very good time they're having fills him and he waves a hand.]
Your captain better have been Picard. Otherwise I may need to have a word with HR.
Janeway. Sorry. You think that's a fireable offense?
[ martin leans back slightly in his chair, silently absorbing this new information about jon. well - it makes sense. a place like the magnus institute either makes you extra sensitive to the weird or inoculates you against it entirely. ]
I've actually started watching horror movies lately. Thrillers. Weird, isn't it? They're never really been my type before.
[Martin is favored with a genuine grin. His features shift and brighten and he looks years younger. Georgie would agree with Martin and that...well. Damn.
It fades.]
...It's like you want to pull them apart right? Like you want to...see what makes it tick?
It is weird. I wonder if- I wonder if the others feel the same.
[ martin finds his mouth weirdly, inexplicably dry, and he wonders if jon has ever smiled like that for anyone else in the institute. he clears his throat and shakes it off, trying not to seem as strangely embarrassed as he is - like he's afraid jon will be able to sense just, exactly, how smitten he is. ]
Nothing that complicated. I think I just like being scared by things I know are fake.
[Martin is...engaging and he wants to protect him. It's a new compulsion but the way the man seems to care deserves...caring for? Respect?
But honestly this is just a good conversation. It's away from the eye, it's away from statements, it's away from Elias he can give him a regular conversation they both can can't they?]
What counts as fake for you anymore? Those ridiculous serial killers with huge weapons?
No, just- any movie. I honestly can't remember the last time I went to the cinema.
[ jon studies him, then turns away and apologizes, and martin absolutely isn't sure how to handle that. he clears his throat, hesitating as he turns the book around in his hands. ]
[It seems churlish to claim "everybody hates me." because even if it's true people also ...don't. He knows that. and he knows that. And even if they did...
...So. Yes. Fine. All right.]
You pick the movie. Just - something with a bit more of a plot? There's some that are smarter. Those SAW movies for one. Looked a bit grim but apparently they're smarter Georgie saw one and liked it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ martin isn't sure what he wants to say, or how to say it, but he can feel his face heating up fast and he doesn't quite know what to do about it. his fingers flex on the book and he bites down a smile, because god if he doesn't care so much about this stupid man- ]
It's - alright. Honestly, I'm not just saying that. We all know that you're- that you're prickly. But you've always had our best interests at heart. From the beginning. I know that. I-- we know that, I promise.
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See that?- If I really did? I would do more about Elias. I would have ...somehow done more about this whole situation we're in. What happened with Daisy and Basira would never have happened and Tim...
[Damn it.]
But thank you all the same.
[All he can offer is a very tired smile.]
...I used to date Georgie. The...
[He studies Martin and looks profoundly ashamed.] she used to tell me that I was very good at making other people do my emotional work for me and I ...hate that.
But Prickly!
[He chuckles]
My grandmother would agree with you.
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[ martin trails off, chewing over his next words. ]
You've never stopped trying there, either. It doesn't mean nothing. I promise it doesn't.
[ the shame catches him off guard, as does the admission of dating georgie. casual, martin. c a s u a l. ]
So, uh. You two are still close, then?
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[He blinks owlishly.] No, no no. She's passed. We weren't close in life? But she was...she did her best-
[pause.] Or Georgie and I?
[He hisses for a moment.] We're...we talk but I made a pretty big mistake and she and I parted on ...not good terms. We grew into very different people.
But we still talk, and I duck by to use her wifi because for some reason wifi in my flats is always terrible.
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[ martin, who has been at the institute for ages, who has seen so many folks come and go. he rubs at his eye, not wanting to admit out loud just how tired he is. he's unwilling to give up this moment of actual conversation with jon. ]
But I'm sorry to hear about that. You and Georgie, I mean. It's good to have friends.
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[People were talking about that? He takes another bite of sandwich and stares at Martin before he shrugs.]
I have -
God I think you're the only person who I'd consider a friend here.
[He gestures. Nervously.]
So watch out. There's going to be a moment where I'll do something for you that will be genuinely friendly and you will least expect it.
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[ yeah - he's suddenly very glad he decided to bring jon a late dinner. ]
It's actually quite nice, hearing it from you. But I think you've already covered the 'gesture of friendliness.' [ he holds up the book, as if to indicate. ]
thank you for this this thread is joy
[He holds up a hand]
Anyone who hasn't read a good book deserves to. I mean you don't seem to have one on your mind, so I'm happy to help. Expect a second gesture of genuine friendship - totally out of nowhere.
[You're so kind to me and I want to measure up, seems fucking trite]
You'll be least expecting it and suddenly I'll swoop in and probably make a mess of the whole affair but it will be made out of friendship and kindness.
Fair warning it may be more books. Or...well what else do you like?
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Books are fine. Honest. It just - means a lot, to know someone is thinking about me.
[ that jon is thinking about him. he feels his ears go red again, and hastily adds: ]
I have seen the movie. Is it going to spoil the book for me? [ jurassic park, that is. ]
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No no. There are some things and John Hammond is an ass but he's better than some.
The lawyer's less of a prick too.
Prior to working here I really was much more of a science fiction fan.
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[The truth hits him like a punch to the stomach and he sighs.] I've always loved a good story and the horror ones...lately especially...have much more of a draw than ...anything else I previously read.
In fact- [he laughs a little nervosly] I make it a point to go shopping because I try not to read or get drawn to any horror books. It's...
[Like armor. Paper and binding armor against his god. But the urge to not spoil this very good time they're having fills him and he waves a hand.]
Your captain better have been Picard. Otherwise I may need to have a word with HR.
[Look, he's got jokes.]
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[ martin leans back slightly in his chair, silently absorbing this new information about jon. well - it makes sense. a place like the magnus institute either makes you extra sensitive to the weird or inoculates you against it entirely. ]
I've actually started watching horror movies lately. Thrillers. Weird, isn't it? They're never really been my type before.
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[Martin is favored with a genuine grin. His features shift and brighten and he looks years younger. Georgie would agree with Martin and that...well. Damn.
It fades.]
...It's like you want to pull them apart right? Like you want to...see what makes it tick?
It is weird. I wonder if- I wonder if the others feel the same.
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Nothing that complicated. I think I just like being scared by things I know are fake.
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But honestly this is just a good conversation. It's away from the eye, it's away from statements, it's away from Elias he can give him a regular conversation they both can can't they?]
What counts as fake for you anymore? Those ridiculous serial killers with huge weapons?
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[ martin considers that for a moment, and then decides: ]
Well, yeah. Have you seen Friday the 13th? It's nuts. Absolutely improbable. Terrifying, but in a - you know, the good way.
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[He frowns. He's read enough stories about serial killers with seeming...abilities. But.] what's it about?
I think the last movie I saw was ...one of the superhero ones. It was suggested.
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[ because he has to hope it'll calm down. ]
All of us, together. Be nice, wouldn't it?
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[It hits him then, and he pales a hair or two, because...he feels like it won't. Like there's something changing within him he can't escape.
Something curls in his chest and he studies Martin.]
You and me and - what. Melanie and Basira and Daisy? And Tim?
[He knows nothing about them. He realizes. And he wants to. He wants to see it. To see what they want and just...do what with it?]
...That'd be nice. Company bonding. Just sitting there watching-
[God. He freezes at that and shakes his head before leaning forward and turning back to the desk.]
...sorry.
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[ jon studies him, then turns away and apologizes, and martin absolutely isn't sure how to handle that. he clears his throat, hesitating as he turns the book around in his hands. ]
Maybe not Daisy. Why are you apologizing to me?
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...The idea of watching things appeals far more than it should.
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[ martin sounds entirely too stubborn about this. ]
You're allowed to be excited by- movies with friends.
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...So. Yes. Fine. All right.]
You pick the movie. Just - something with a bit more of a plot? There's some that are smarter. Those SAW movies for one. Looked a bit grim but apparently they're smarter Georgie saw one and liked it.
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Jon, those are torture porn. Look, I'll - have you seen Cabin in the Woods?
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action? -->
action!
:D
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